The question should be: “Why not write this?” I would love to start by introducing myself to you, my readers; however, I think it will be more exciting if you just get to know me through my posts.
You might be reflecting on the meaning of the name “Preta Outsider.” Firstly, I have to confess it was not easy to choose this name. I had so many ideas in my mind, but none of them were actually making sense to me. Then, when I finally gave my brain some time to relax, it just came up with this interesting name. Therefore, I consider it of great importance to explain to you what both words mean and why I was drawn to them.
The etymology of the word “preta” in Brazilian Portuguese comes from the Latin pressus, meaning something “tight” or “dense,” or simply the color black. Preta with an A at the end refers to the feminine form of the word. For those who are not familiar with Latin languages, they have linguistic distinctions by gender: every word ending in A is feminine, and every word ending in O is masculine. For instance, “O menino preto” (the black boy) or “A menina preta” (the black girl). With that being said, I must also highlight that this is the way Black people are referred to in Brazil — you probably got that from the examples above.
From a historical and social perspective, racism in the country was responsible for turning the word “preto(a)” into a bad thing, just like the N-word in the USA. For a long time, the word was used to discriminate against and offend Black people as a consequence of more than 300 years of slavery. Afro-Brazilians have redefined the use of the word, though. After years of constant fighting for civil and racial rights, as well as representation, it has been reclaimed as a form of pride and identity. In my personal dictionary, “preta” is not only a Black woman — it is, in fact, beauty, power, and strength.
Now, why “Outsider”? I have to say that part of it is because I’ve moved to another country. Not only have I done that, but I did it by myself at a young age — 24, precisely. Not an easy move, nevertheless, a brave one. I would also say that the feeling of being a foreigner in a place where the language isn’t your first, where people are strangers to you, where the culture is different, and where friendships and relationships are complex… well, all those reasons made me choose “outsider.”
Nonetheless, I confess that I’ve been feeling at home lately. My feet aren’t touching the ground of my backyard, the food isn’t rice and beans every day, samba is not in clubs or bars, soccer is not on TV on Sundays, and people may not be that warm — but it feels like home now. I think I was waiting for this moment to arise.
I consider it incredibly necessary to share every little or big thought of this journey with others. I come from a place where people don’t believe you can succeed. They actually expect your failure — another negative consequence of racism, since Black people are often discredited. So why not combine who I am with where I am now as a way to show my readers, and people like me and my history, how capable we are? Not only as a foreign woman in another country but also as an educator, historian, and human who is willing to change the world.